Is ego a dirty word? 7 tips to break-up with an unhealthy ego.

What is ego?  Is it a dirty word?
 
I experience ego as a beautifully displayed shopfront.  Designed to lure me in.  And once inside the shop I see things I like and things I don’t necessarily like.  The intention of course is to have me stay and buy.  That I will see more of what I do like than I don’t and I can be influenced to make a purchase and to come back again.

And then there’s the locked storeroom, the room we are not allowed to enter.  A room that can only be accessed by a very select few, by those who have been given the key.  We hide things we don't want to be seen in the storeroom.
 
The ego is designed to lure us in.  We display what we believe will have people like us which feeds into one of the human needs - love and connection.  The ego is also the guard, the gatekeeper that will protect that hidden room and who gains entrance.  Another way to see the ego is a fierce protector of what precious jewels or hidden secrets lay beyond what the eye can see. 
 
To drop the ego is to learn the art of vulnerability – the willingness to be seen.  Not just presenting the good, but embracing all parts.  The perceived good, bad, fears, humanness, flaws and brilliance – we humans are the full package!  This is what makes us human.  And yet for so many the idea of truly being seen represents such a threat to the ego, it will protect and defend at all costs.


My own account of ego in the drivers seat equates to hard work and effort.  Keeping the shopfront perfect, when in actual fact it is not, is exhausting.  It can seem relentless.  It creates disconnection from deepening connections.  It appears false, harsh and defensive.  It creates distrust.  It forms a barrier in authentic expression.  It creates a block for deep learning and gained wisdom. 
 
Ego is a prison that creates pain and tension in our lives. How can I be so sure, as this was my journey.  If I wasn’t accepted then I wasn’t going to be loved, I wouldn’t be successful, and I didn’t belong.  I would do all that I could to protect the truth from being seen, that I was in fact flawed. 

To live a life of GREATNESS is to live as our true self, to be perfectly imperfect, to show who we truly are.  Until we do we are pretty much living a lie. 
 
So how do we breakup with unhealthy ego?  Here are 7 tips.

1. Own our humanness!  Let yourself be seen as a messy human.  Keep it real.  Yes it takes courage, like anything the more we own the parts we feel will be perceived as weak or we feel ashamed, those parts own us.  In other words, they sit in our psyche as something that is wrong and we project those aspects on to others and make them wrong.  It’s a self-perception projected on to others that creates separation and conflict.  
   
   
2. Recognise we are all students of life.  We never stop learning, nor evolving.  The minute that we do we are trapped in our current paradigm.  A master enters the room with an empty cup.  (Think about it).
   
   
3. Be the brave leader.  It takes one person to be the risk taker and to lead by example.  To be courageous enough to show vulnerability, to share a little about what is in the storeroom.  So often we all have things we are afraid to share.  And yet when we do and the other person has had a similar experience, it’s the most comforting experience we can have.  We feel seen and understood.
   
   
4. Get curious about it.  Like anything the more we read, converse or study in any area of life, the more we come to understand.  There are some great resources available to learn how to free yourself from ego and live more authentically.  For example - Brene Brown TED talk on Vulnerability (over 6 million views so on to something!)
   
   
5. Speak from your heart.  The heart has it’s own consciousness.  It’s a profound shift from being in the head.  Head is ego.  Heart is essence.  Heart intelligence speaks differently and experiences the world through different eyes.  Learning to be heart centered is one of the most beautiful human experiences, it’s what we are here to remember.
   
   
6. See beyond ‘I’.  'We' are all in this together.  Essentially we are all trying to work out this thing called life.  When we connect at a deeper level and see each other from this place of understanding, compassion leads the way.
   
   
7. Be the change, leave a legacy.  If we are to impact positive change we need to show up.  If you don’t feel to do it for yourself, do it for the next generation.  Leave a legacy of leading others to what it is to be authentically and unapologetically YOU!  Be a change maker, a planet shaker, a risk taker!  Be the change!

In Melbourne and ready to embrace Greatness?  We have a one day workshop coming up that will create profound insight and give you the tools to step into your beautiful, unapologetically YOU world!  The Art of Self-Leadership one day workshop on April 13th 2016 or perhaps join us at the upcoming 6-week program Dance With Life program.  Call or email for more information. 

Until next time....
Be bold!
Lara
www.thegreatnessacademy.com.au

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