For the most part it seems when life comes undone, we complain.
We complain about our jobs, health, money, friends, partners, weather... and the list goes on. The challenge with complaining is it's more than just words, it affects our entire being. Words cast spells.
I like to think of words, birthed from thoughts, like a spiders web. We are spinning our web with each thought and it continues to expand connecting each thought until we have built where we dwell, where we come home in ourselves. If it is built in negative thoughts, or words, bound with complaining, that is where we dwell.
So perhaps it's time to build a web that only captures what you choose consciously and deliberately.
Yes life can be stressful as it throws us curve balls, and yes sometimes it can feel like we are fighting a loosing battle. So it seems only natural to complain. The challenge in this - complaining also affects our brains and our physical health, and not in a good way. A sense of sadness or melancholy is increased, along with real dissatisfaction with our daily lives. And then we become stuck in the loop (or the spiders web).
The physiological effects of negativity and complaining creates added stress and can lead to health problems; complaints of headaches, body pain, bloating, feeling blue. One way to combat these symptoms is through learning how to stop unnecessary complaining. To shift our focus. To change the habit. To choose to be kind, gentle and loving in place of the complaint.
Complaining in essence is the association of focusing on what we don’t want. Often linked to the inability to accept what is and unwillingness to take responsibility for our part in the creation.
You may have heard the following; what you focus on expands. It's so true. So might as well choose to focus on what we want, not what we don't want. It takes the same amount of energy and is better for our overall health and well-being!
When living out our daily lives, it’s often easy to look around and blame the world for our perceived problems. The real quest is to take responsibility and ownership for our lives, to come to accept what is, and to be kind with ourselves.
Ultimately how the story of our life unfolds is all in our choices. And to create better health physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, we have to change a few things in how we are approaching life. 2 simple considerations:
1. You are in charge of your own life
If you look back at your own life, you’ll begin to realise that everything you have ever done up to the present moment was all a result of the decisions you’ve made. Sure there may have been people around you who have 'convinced' you to do some of the things you may have done. But it all ultimately depends on your choices and no one else... so who’s really to blame?
When we see life from this perspective we really do see how we have control. Suddenly there is no one else to take responsibility but our-self. We begin to see that among everything that’s happening around us, what we have is always free will and choice.
Wisdom-bite: Our lives are orchestrated by the questions we ask ourselves. Staying in a state of curiosity replaces complaining in an instant.
2. You can’t be a leader if you behave like a victim
Would you rather live a life with rules, or lead a life that is governed by you? I’m certain the answer is simple. It’s really easy to put blame on things that are external to you, as it avoids personal responsibility and allows you to refuse the possibility that you may have things that can be changed. So what can you change?
Being a leader in our life takes courage and requires the willingness to face our fears, experience failure, and take complete personal responsibility of everything that happens to us. It will break away our ego, which for most feels like a real threat... who I am without my identity? To have the courage to let go of our identity we can create a new way of being: living life deeply present, connected, alive and free.
Wisdom-bite: The answer isn't to box it away, rather how can you accept and allow what is and lovingly choose something greater for yourself.
You have no one else but you to make it happen, you are the Creator of your life experiences, it's a moment-by-moment choice. Go forth and choose deliberately as the C.E.O. in your life!
Until next time...
Keep dreaming, keep believing as Greatness awaits.
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About the Author
Lara Wilson lives in Melbourne Australia. Her passion is to educate, inspire and empower you towards creating the life you love, in your GREATNESS. As a Warrior for Greatness, Lara shares insights as a speaker, writer, facilitator, trainer and change agent.